I am against myself.

How pathetic. I should just shut my mouth and die in shame now.

Police and Thief in the streets.

I am so depressed. I resorted to writing in you as I had ranted much on my tumblr.

My sister flew off to KL today with my parents. She's going back to Ireland on the 16th, so that is the reason why I am so lonely. I can't help it. My social life is pretty much lifeless since nobody is actually participating in it. I don't really like socializing nowadays except with my closest peers of course, but you know what? I don't live with my friends so, yeah. I just had to face loneliness alone.

I have suicidal thoughts. All the time. Because of certain things that happened in my life. It's pretty private but I know, I already sounded crazy enough anyway.

So what the fuck.

Everything written on the wall of my room.

tired of cleaning up. after everybody's shits

  tired of being mocked, ridiculed & condemned

fat since you were a child

BAD ADVICE MADE YA LOSE WHAT YA GOT, BRAVO!!
 

everybody will be happy if you were fat & ugly once again

Why talk big when you're just a minor someone? 

U R A DIPSHIT BIATCH

dumbo shit              Somebody in da house is St Jimmy!

        

MOCKED FOR EATING THANK YOU VERY MUCH, LOVE YOU TOO.

litter as much as you can & most importantly, never clean it up.

YOU JUST DESTROYED ME

I know it all sounds pretty depressing but that's what you get when you got cool parents and the freedom of expression.

 

Much-Loved

Oh man you guys will forever be my most favourite.

Heartbreak Warfare

John Mayer's. Aah, it has been awhile since I last listened to him.

It's hard to actually define what causes hearts all over the world to break. Let alone fixing them. I did experienced them early this year and I tell you, it was terrible. The pain was excruciating. I couldn't handle the truth, in fact, I couldn't even handle my life anymore. Tears were ready to flow anytime, anyhow, anywhere and just everywhere.

I understand that it's normal for me to fall apart at times like that but at the end of the day, I basically got used to it and I eventually taught and made myself stronger, more independent and mature. I too now, do not trust people easily anymore as I know that I was pretty gullible back then.

It's funny how things like that can totally change you and your perspective in life. I admit, I am very different now from what or whatever I was back then, and I am thankful for what I've gone through that brought me this far. I learnt a lot about myself and discovered more about life and what it really is worth.

My dearest best friend, I love you with all of my being. What you did wasn't smart and it's okay, it's just another mistake and you are forgiven for making me worry so much about you. But, remember, you are normal. All of the things that you're feeling right now, it's all normal. You will get through it, you're strong and an independent lady. Calm yourselves and pray to God. Only He can and will help you get through it. 

So it all comes down to this, I don't think 17 or any younger is the age for relationships. There's room for fun, but not for boys to me. I am sick of it, and I will not repeat my mistake over again. There's no time for any other sore ass loser to have even a teeny weeny bit piece of my mind, note to that.

p/s: I don't understand why people spend thousands for some headphones, specifically Beats by Dr Dre or whatever they are called. Seriously, you can feed a lot of mouths in Africa with that sum of money. And Blackberries are so overrated. Urgh.