06/11/2011

Impediment.

I am most forlorn of my behavior yesterday. Believe me, it was rather poignant yet ruthless. I've been under a lot of stress lately. And the best way of overcoming it would be writing. Expressing it in this blog would be the least I could do as a preventive step to ensure that I wouldn't drive myself crazy.

Life is getting more difficult each day. I am aware that I am maturing every second. All my life when I was a child, I wanted to grow up except that here I am now, wanting to crawl back in my mother's womb.

It is surreal that I am now about to finish high school in a few days. Facing SPM the next. Choosing a career path for myself. Managing my own life. Me? The baby of the house? The immature, spoiled, me? You have got to be kidding me man.

My dream, when I was a child (in primary school) was to be an architect. When I entered high school, I started to change my mind to be left undecided until form 4. As soon as I reached form 4, I was so preoccupied with my life that I forgot about everything. So look at me now? What do I want to be? Ask me. Force me for an answer.

A dentist. I figured that the profession has good pay, relaxing work environment and a lot of other career potentials too within itself such as business and volunteering for UNICEF. It was settled, all of my dreams, would come true if I become a dentist.

I want to do meaningful things, that change lives. I want a good life which gives manifold to others.

But you know, working for that goal would be another story now. I am starting. InsyaAllah, I will make it.

So in the future. Remind yourselves to call me, Dr Sirhan the beautiful dentist ;)

04/11/2011

I'm sorry I'm a failure.

Yes. Trade me for another daughter. Go change me.

I am rubbish.